Loneliness…

I thought I won’t have to feel that again. But as they say “the world goes round”, I guess I’m back with it, feeling lonely every single moment.

All this while, you’ve always been around, making me feel safe & sound with your warmth & cheerfulness. Every moment you spent with me felt like a thousand kiss of bliss. Although being thousand miles away from you, it just felt a few inches away. The virtual hugs always felt real, like I could feel the beats of your heart beating right through my chest, mesmerizing me to the depth.
Our  kisses, although it’s childish & funny kissing over the texts & calls, I always loved them. The late night talks, felt like you lying next to me whispering every single word into my ears through your lips. Sleeping over you is what I always dreamed about, and then when you would say ‘sleep over’, it becomes all so real under my closed eyes, imagining all that..

But now, now that you have created this all new invisible wall between us, pushing me further away every single second, it breaks me down. It breaks my heart to see you go away, pushing distance between us. Although the real distance never affected us before, but this mental distance is really creeping me. I feel lost, nowhere to go, other than standing here by myself wiping every single tear that goes by. Tears of helplessness, helpless that I’m unable to do anything to pull you closer.

Can you hear me, dear? My lips calling out your name to come back & hold me tight, can’t you hear me? I’ve always been talking to you inside my mind, though you never said a single word.

The desire to see you again like before is so pure, it makes me weep…
The impulses of wanting to meet you, the innocence of wanting to cry, all so strong that I can’t hold them back anymore…
You remained silent and left me with a silent kiss. Hurt and upset, I still nodded my head, left alone, trembling and sad…
All I ever asked for was a little love…
I guess that was too much of me to ask for…
I know that someday, you’ll find out what my love was like for you, I’ll pray it’s not too late then…

I can still see your face, as the moon’s dazzling light illuminates the next day.
Just let the light shine in my empty heart and set my soul ablaze…
Even the feelings I held onto for you are just now changing into words…
Someday, when I awaken from the dream of this unknown world, I hope you’ll be by my side then for sure…

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